Friday, July 26, 2019

Letting it Go

This year the blog has been (mostly) quiet. Things are chugging along as they should (despite an unscheduled break due to a bit of a pony cold, but things are on track again) and since Summer is usually a busy time, I tend to let the blog keel over and die a bit despite continuing to ride and make improvements. 

This year in particular feels different though - previously I had a pretty good history of marking all of my rides and delving deep into the particulars of each ride. Every recap had a beginning, middle, and end. Every year I had monthly, if not quarterly goals. 

And this year, I just kinda... let it go.

And look at that outcome.
Not that we are riding less or that we've hit a wall, but I think part of me has finally understood this whole process. I don't need to write goals every 30 days to achieve things with Annie. I don't need to set hard deadlines to meet certain targets.  

A year ago, I had big dreams and big plans. I wanted to push past my own boundaries - specifically in the jump ring - and I wanted to push Annie to become a better athlete. And, it didn't happen. We hit a few walls and we had a few things to suss out before either of us could move on.

And this year I kinda just accepted it all. Whatever will be, will be.

A flare up in her cold meant time off, which would have had a
Year-Ago-Me freaking out that we have a show next weekend.
To be honest, I'm still kinda freaking out, but it isn't consuming
me like it would have .
I can't push myself or my horse past what we are capable of, and I certainly can't expect Annie to meet me halfway when my goals do not align with her current training and/or physical capabilities. It's not to say I can't have those dreams or aspirations, but there has to be a method to the madness so that the end plan makes sense and has value. 

And all of these things haven't come easy to us. Throughout this entire journey with Annie, I've had multiple professionals tell me my horse is weak and physically immature. Whether or not it has to do with her life long before I got her or just her physical attributes, I don't know. But regardless of it all, I poured everything I had into making her the best horse she can be.

Endless hours of blood, sweat, and tears have gone into our relationship. Seeds of frustration grew roots deep into my foundation, and it took time to shake them loose and let them wilt away. I have a newfound respect for my relationship with Annie, and I feel a sense of pride when I look at her and know I have done (and continuing to do) everything I can to make her the very best partner for me. 

It's been a hell of a journey, and I can't say that the waffling feelings of indecision have completely left, as I catch myself from time to time. But I feel better this year. I feel more patient with her progress - slow and steady has been our mantra for a long time. It just took me a few years to figure that out.

The very best ears to be behind.


12 comments:

  1. This is a great post, and so so important. I had to sorta arrive at some similar conclusions with my approach to Charlie, and it really helped me be happier and more fulfilled by our day to day moments together.

    Clearly Annie is thriving with your shift in attitude too - she keeps looking better and better! Lots to be proud of there ;)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It can be hard to see other people achieving things, but at the same time - the majority of those people have worked their assess off too. Our speed is just a bit slower than the rest, and that's OK.

      Delete
  2. I think we all struggle with this at some point. How goal driven we need to be vs. being patient and taking things as they come. Clearly your new path is paying off!

    ReplyDelete
  3. great outlook there. I may need a Spud fix now. Just saying :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. A Spud update is coming :)
      I just bought the little man a brand new cart, so expect some photos of him in his new cart soon!

      Delete
  4. 💕💕💕I love everything about this. You have done amazing work with her and it shows.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I owe a lot of this newfound attitude to the blogging community <3

      Delete