This year in particular feels different though - previously I had a pretty good history of marking all of my rides and delving deep into the particulars of each ride. Every recap had a beginning, middle, and end. Every year I had monthly, if not quarterly goals.
And this year, I just kinda... let it go.
|And look at that outcome.|
Not that we are riding less or that we've hit a wall, but I think part of me has finally understood this whole process. I don't need to write goals every 30 days to achieve things with Annie. I don't need to set hard deadlines to meet certain targets.
A year ago, I had big dreams and big plans. I wanted to push past my own boundaries - specifically in the jump ring - and I wanted to push Annie to become a better athlete. And, it didn't happen. We hit a few walls and we had a few things to suss out before either of us could move on.
And this year I kinda just accepted it all. Whatever will be, will be.
|A flare up in her cold meant time off, which would have had a|
Year-Ago-Me freaking out that we have a show next weekend.
To be honest, I'm still kinda freaking out, but it isn't consuming
me like it would have .
I can't push myself or my horse past what we are capable of, and I certainly can't expect Annie to meet me halfway when my goals do not align with her current training and/or physical capabilities. It's not to say I can't have those dreams or aspirations, but there has to be a method to the madness so that the end plan makes sense and has value.
And all of these things haven't come easy to us. Throughout this entire journey with Annie, I've had multiple professionals tell me my horse is weak and physically immature. Whether or not it has to do with her life long before I got her or just her physical attributes, I don't know. But regardless of it all, I poured everything I had into making her the best horse she can be.
Endless hours of blood, sweat, and tears have gone into our relationship. Seeds of frustration grew roots deep into my foundation, and it took time to shake them loose and let them wilt away. I have a newfound respect for my relationship with Annie, and I feel a sense of pride when I look at her and know I have done (and continuing to do) everything I can to make her the very best partner for me.
It's been a hell of a journey, and I can't say that the waffling feelings of indecision have completely left, as I catch myself from time to time. But I feel better this year. I feel more patient with her progress - slow and steady has been our mantra for a long time. It just took me a few years to figure that out.
|The very best ears to be behind.|