Stitching Myself Back Together

Such best friends <3

First of all - thank you to everyone for your kind words, especially those who have been with me throughout my entire journey with Suzie. All of the encouragement and words of wisdom these past few years have been such a blessing. This blog has been so much more than a place to write down what is going on with my horses - it is a place I can really articulate how I feel without making apologies or inviting negativity. So, cheers to you guys.

Since Suzie's passing it's been a pretty large adjustment. The barn has been a very quiet and sad place for me. Don't get me wrong, I still go out every day to give grain to Annie (along with her new supplements and meds, which is a post I need to write about!) and pick poo. It just doesn't feel the same and I'm sure it won't for a long time.

Surprisingly, both Annie and Spud have been completely fine. The morning we led Suzie away, Annie didn't even bother to pace the fence-line and scream for Suz like she normally does. Which was really eerie and weird. Even when we went back to the barn that night to check on them (because I was convinced Annie was running circles in the paddock and would break her leg), both horses were standing calmly and quietly munching hay like nothing had even happened.

It was weird, but I was also a bit relieved they didn't seem bothered by Suzie's absence. It made things much, much easier and I was able to sleep soundly at night not worrying about them pacing and neighing all night long.

Annie does stand in the one corner of the paddock and searches the front area where I used to let them graze, but she is calm and quiet about it. She also takes a bite of grain and will walk to the edge of the stall mats to peer around the corner of the barn. I don't know if she is looking for Suzie, but it sure seems like it. I'm just glad she isn't frantic about it.

My barn time has been largely limited by the weather, too. It has been completely miserable and we've had several storm warnings - including a freak snow-storm a few days ago. So, aside from lunging Annie a few times and riding her around the street, I haven't done much. Truth be told, I don't have the heart to push myself past puttering around at the moment.

The season for the riders in this area is done, and I am kind of glad that it's time for some down time. I can heal on my own and ride when I am ready without the pressures of clinics, shows, etc.

This guy has been a huge help <3