|Perpetual droopy lip.|
Is there anything really wrong with that? No. There isn't any reason to be upset with him or be frustrated, but still, I am. It sounds so petty, but it feels like the whole Suzie situation all over again.
We went to a little dinky schooling show this past weekend and were subsequently scratched from our second Dressage test by the judge for Finn being hitchy in his trot to the right. After a lengthy cry at the trailer for feeling like yet again a failure in keeping an old horse sound, I picked myself up and stayed the night at a friend's house (same friend who is boarding Suz for me, so it was nice to see her after that emotional day). He was buted that evening to help ease out any residual stiffness and in the morning, I rode my flat classes and won High Point which was nice, but I was approached by the secondary judge and told that Finn seemed a bit "sticky" in his hind end.
|Shortly before being scratched.|
There isn't anything wrong with Finn - he is stiff and old. Age is not on his side and after having over two years off in being a complete pasture puff, I shouldn't be surprised.
So why am I so upset?
I am an overly anxious person by nature, and when something little like "slight stiffness" enters the picture and I get kicked out of a dressage test at a show, I freak the fuck out. I cry, and sob, and want to just throw in the towel for YET AGAIN being disappointed and let down. And it isn't Finn's fault - I KNEW what I was walking into and I knew what the trials and tribulations would be for us.
It sounds like I'm being a big baby, because we did win High Point and he looked fucking fabulous in the ring.
|Our first test. |
Looking like a sexy beast.
I did discuss all of my feelings with Finn's owner, and I was willing to return him home after the somewhat disastrous show. But, we've both decided he will stay. He enjoys the light riding and I enjoy getting him out and about. Sure, I'm stuck at Training Level for the 6th year in a row, but for coming out of retirement in May, we've done a heck of a job thus far.
So we've scheduled a chiropractor appointment for Mr. Finnegan since we're both pretty positive he needs some adjustments since he's been retired since 2014 and then ridden by me with no body work in between.
It'll get better - I'll find what makes me want to try and want to have good rides again... I just feel defeated and down-trodden.